Pain is weakness leaving the body - Part 2

In January 2010 I wrote about this topic. Well, sorta.

Today, two years later, I find myself saying this phrase pretty often. This is because of the realization that has occurred surrounding this key concept in walking with Father.

If you look back over your life, and the lives of anyone to whom you consider yourself in a close relationship it doesn't take long to realize that when it comes to "life lessons" (more than this is how you open a pull tab on a can type stuff) we seldom, if ever, learn those without pain being involved.

I was watching a story on one of the local news stations the other day about a boy who had recently died of cancer. The story was showing some previous interviews with him and some interviews with others who's lives he had touched. I immediately noticed something about him. In fact I noticed it about him and a friend of his about the same age going through similar life and death battles. In fact, several of the other newscasters who had met both the young men noticed and commented about it as well. They had an incredible maturity about them.

Reflecting back, I believe this is something I've seen in every person walking difficult paths who I've encountered in person or through reading, hearing, or seeing their stories. They have an unusual strength about them.

Even in families who walk difficult paths with loved ones, this strength seems evident.

Perhaps this is what James had in mind when he began his letter with:

Consider it pure joy brothers when you face difficulties of all kinds.

James probably had seen it and understood. The pain we endure is not without purpose (or I should say purposes as Father is always at work not only in us, but all around us as well -- that's a future post I'm going to call "Intersections" I believe). As I reflect back over the years of my life, I can't say I've experienced the pain that others like these boys have experienced, but I can say that through every cycle of pain to strength, the only true casualty has been weakness (usually in the form of unbelief or lack of trust) in my own life.

I am a reflector

This realization came to be more focused in the last few months and last week really zeroed in on a finer point which hopefully will transform... well, me.

Though I didn't have clear definition, I began realizing my nature as a reflector in college. I had played racquetball for years and had been beat by some outstanding players (being beat by someone really good always raises the level of your own game) for a number of years. While in college I would regularly go play with class mates. It was obvious when we got started warming up I had played much more than most of the guys I played with. It usually went this way, I would smear them in game 1, then in the subsequent games it was a closer match but they seldom won. This continues even today when I play racquetball (though I'm not nearly as good or as young as I used to be).

As a kid growing up our Air Force family moved all over the country (world in fact) and because of that I've always been a sort of chameleon. Accents come and go over time depending on where I live and for how long. I'm currently shifting back to no accent after coming back to Colorado with a Nashville influenced southern twang.

In one of my church staff positions there was a church member who had a handicap which caused him to stutter and slur his words and to make interesting hand motions and body gestures. Whenever I conversed with him I found myself, I had to be very careful to keep myself from mimicking his behavior. Not because I was making fun of him, but I was reflecting him in our conversations. And as I noticed it with this person, I began to see it with others in other ways. It had never been something noticeable until now because mimicking people who appear "normal" was no big deal. But mimicking someone who had difficulty talking or carrying on a conversation was considered rude and it made me notice what I typically did. Most everyone I interacted with I began to realize I would mimic the personality of the interaction back to the person.

In my final years in Nashville I began to see this in light of my responses to people I interacted with. Whatever attitude co-workers would bring to meetings with me I would reflect right back at them. So those who were civil and interested in getting things done created a great deal of productivity. Those who wanted to be troublesome and wrangle... well, it typically wasn't a calm and settled meeting and reaching consensus and moving forward was difficult.

At first I didn't see it. I found myself wondering what caused this transformation in me from Mr calm who rolled up his sleeves and worked with others to get amazing things done to Mr I Can Dig My Heels In Too. Was I Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? Was there some crazy chemical transformation that took place when things got tense?

Then I put two and two together (with some other stuff too) - the same personality trait which caused my racquetball game to raise or lower to match the competition, allowed me to transform my style of communication geographically, and caused me to mimic people in my interactions with them was what was driving what I thought were crazy personality shifts at work (and in other relationships).

It was this last year I really began to put this all together and begin to be able to verbalize that I am a reflector. A great gift from Father which I had never recognized or taken the time to really contemplate. A few weeks ago as I began to think about this trait Father quietly began to help me see that in interactions I was to reflect someone other than the person I was interacting with. WOW! Being a reflector now had a whole new meaning and established a whole new set of goals. I set out to try to reflect Jesus in all my interactions. It was a new lease in life. In those instances where I naturally bounce back the personality of the person I'm interacting with, I began focusing on reflecting back Jesus instead.

Then, this last week it all came home to rest. Jesus reflected Father. The goal and purpose of His life was Father. So should be the goal and purpose of my life. And as such, I should be striving to reflect the character and personality of Father. (This is an additional blog article I'll try to add in the next few weeks... the over-emphasis some put on Jesus. That should stir some debate.) So, my new goals are to spend more and more time contemplating the character and Way of Father and in so doing hopefully begin more and more to reflect Him to everyone I interact with.

I am a reflector!

The United State of More

Several years ago I began a journey (although I truly recognize this journey has been going on my whole life). While I have not arrived at the end of the journey, I continue to find myself further and further from what I once called home and more and more a foreigner where I live.

One evening, a young lady in a mall kiosk who was not from the United States was very reluctant to allow me to leave her kiosk without purchasing the item which peaked my interest. It was an item for my wife and the cost was significant I wanted to check with my wife before making the purchase.

"You're afraid I won't come back, aren't you?" A question to which she reluctantly responded "Yes". I knew something was up because she kept "sweetening" the deal. Then after she'd sweetened it all she could, she made it where I had to buy right then and the offer was not good if I walked away and came back. I told her I was not buying without consulting my wife. I asked her why she was so insistent that I buy right at that moment. She then sheepishly explained to me that in the mall were hundreds of people with money in their pockets to spend. She explained that Americans walked into the door of the mall with an amount in mind they would spend and that she "knew" if I left I would likely spend the money in my pocket before getting back to her. I assured her I would return after I found and consulted my wife. She skeptically nodded as I walked away.

My wife was less than a hundred yards down the mall walking toward me. We set out to return to the kiosk as I told her of both the product and the young lady selling it. When we arrived back at the kiosk the look on the young ladies face was one of true astonishment. I'm sure my face must have had some puzzle written on it as well as I was already contemplating the the sad state of our culture that we were both so predictable and so "spend" oriented. We talked briefly about the fact that I actually returned. She indicated I was the first in her months of working at the kiosk. During that conversation I learned she was a student from a foreign country who came to America during the Christmas season because there was so much money to make. That night I bought the one item I originally stopped to explore, but none of the extras she was so tenacious to expand the offer with. That night was a monumental lesson on my journey.

Since that night, the veil has been lifted and I began to truly see the greed and lust for more which consumes not only America but mankind in general. Father used a simple conversation with this young lady to help me see the sad state of more "we" humans were living in. Now that the veil has been lifted I see it more and more and more (perhaps the opposite state of more?) in advertisements on TV, in pitches I hear in stores, from the mouths of "Christians" who are obsessed with how much more they can give to their church if they excel in their economic efforts. More, more, more. One car is not enough for a family of two because you cannot both have significant careers to climb up that financial ladder to get and acquire more. Two bedrooms is not enough, you have to have a bigger and more expensive house (even sometimes so you can do more for God with it). More savings. More insurance to protect what you have. It's a vicious cycle and one that has drug those of us living in America into the United State of More.

I've left that country. Oh, I still have to struggle with it. But it becomes easier and easier each step I take away from where I used to live. I have less money and fewer things but I have found I need and want less. With less focus on getting and "protecting" stuff I found it has made room for me to think more about Father. My gaze has turned from more of stuff to more of Father and him having more of me. I have left the United State of More.

Contentment vs Ambition?

It's become very interesting to me over the last three years how much more in tune with Father's character some who "don't know Father" are than those who do or claim to follow His Son. It seems they have an advantage over us in that they see His character exemplified in the brush strokes He left about Himself sprinkled through His creation. We often miss thees brush strokes because we discount the thoughts presented in movies, songs, books, science, even astrology as in opposition to the Bible. (That should get some folks riled up!) But before you get too riled, let me throw out a disclaimer. I would never put forth that Father intends or intended for us to worship nature, be self-worshiping, or look to the sky to know whether or not we should buy a lottery ticket. However, I'm beginning to see that some of the folks who practice or promote these crafts are more in touch with the pattern of their creator than are those who read their Bibles daily, attend church several times weekly, and give above their expected 10% (the "expected by whom" is another post entirely... but I won't be writing that one).

If I walked you into an art gallery with rooms of painting collections from several artists, chances are you could identify which paintings belonged to which painters just by the similar style and expression of themselves that are evident in the masterpieces they create. Likewise I'm learning that the world we live in, as well as all the people around us are masterpieces of the Master. So many people around us who don't know the Father have taken the time (we have not if you are reading between the lines here) to study some aspect of His magnificent creation and have found patterns or representations of cycles which I'm beginning to realize are the brush strokes of the Master. Like Paul I'm beginning to find myself surrounded by those who have some form of an altar to an "unknown god".

A recent post on the SearchingForMore.com blog written by a distant, and yet unmet brother living in TN I was reminded of the importance living a life in line with the understanding of this truth. In his post The Danger of Contentment Jason points out that contentment can be an arrow in the quiver of The Enemy. He expresses that he is not content with many of the "spiritual" things in his life and desires a more dedicated and life-altering walk. My disclaimer before I go on is that this is similar to the passion which grew inside of me and led me to walk away from the religious life I had lived for 25 years.

Jason's discontent is consistent with those who venture down the path to living the truth of what Jesus showed and taught us. I believe Jason would pretty quickly agree with everything I am about to say in response to his post.

Many of the non-religious around us emphasize the importance of living a life of balance. From yoga to Jedi Master Yoga (well, the author of the Star Wars saga I should say) balance in life is emphasized as key. Likewise, the life of a Christ Follower is a life of balance.  This important principle permeates the communities focused on art, science, business, and on and on that exist all around us. Yet those who follow or claim to follow Christ tend to live lives swinging from one extreme to another. The amazing creator of everything left some definitive brush strokes about balance on our planet, across other planets, and across the known universe. While being content can lead to complacency in one's journey, there is a lot to be said to finding the balance between contentment and ambition.

Paul emphasized that he had learned to be content whatever his circumstances. Yet I would not describe Paul as being complacent with or towards anything in his life.

Enter into the post the influence of Phil Card. Phil was a church member in one of the churches I served, but that was far from his public legacy. Phil served for a great many years in what would be called denomination service trying to establish a lifestyle of discipleship in groups and individuals. After he retired (which I'm not sure he ever REALLY did) while serving on staff in his church Phil served as my mentor for a field service class that was required for my seminary degree (kind of funny because I had always been in "full time ministry" while getting my degree... but I digress). A regular part of our weekly meetings during the class, as well as at any opportunity he would have outside of those meetings, Phil would quietly say to me "Ambition is the problem. Do you know what I mean?" I always thought I knew what he was saying and typically thought it meant something about some aspect of whatever the conundrum of the week was at the church.

Not until five years ago did I truly begin to understand what I think Phil was trying to say... or if Phil was not trying to say this specific piece of to me, Father used him as a mouthpiece to echo it to my life years later. As part of my journey I began to realize my own ambition had driven me to believe I was a better "Christian" if I worked with multitudes. The bigger the numbers I was influencing the better for the Kingdom. My ambition to "do great things for God and His Kingdom" had be all messed up.

At the close of John, Jesus quietly says "the Father is the goal and purpose of my life". Now there is ambition. The only person in the history of the world who ever had limitless power and capability and who could have had the biggest "ministry" in history was ambitious for one thing... whatever Father had for Him.

Somewhere between contentment and ambition is a place Jesus walked day in and day out and it's where I want to be as well. There are times when ambition to do great things for the Kingdom flirts across the canvas of my mind. There are times when contentment with my circumstances could become complacency. The thing that keeps them both in check is a walk with Father. The more I learn about how the goal and purpose of my life can be like that of Jesus, the less I even have to think about balance between ambition and contentment.

So, I applaud my yet unmet brother Jason and his passion to not become complacent (which is what I think he is saying in his post). No doubt the pressure of ambition is not far behind. I pray he will find his place nestled right down into the middle of being where Father wants him to be, when Father wants him to be there, and be attentive enough to do/say exactly what Father has for him to do while there.

Expectations (wrong ones at that)

I'm not really sure where it crept in, but this concept that "Christians" should always be "Johnny on the spot" for every other "Christian" or "non-Christain" is all messed up.

Somewhere along the way what Jesus did (demonstrated in his daily life) and commanded has been warped to the point of insanity.

Jesus had all the power to do literally anything he wanted to as he walked the earth. Anything. There was nothing outside the realm of his abilities. He was equipped to accomplish anything. Anything! (Have I made that point clear enough yet?) He spent everyday walking among person after person, threw crowds of crowds of people who had needs. And not just the obvious needs we tend to be able to see and know.

The other day, in passing, a friend seemed to emphasize that a stranger had offered to go out of his way to help someone with whom I am acquainted. The inference seemed to be, "look how this person I barely know indicated a willingness to go completely out of their way to help me" while you who are my friend didn't make the same offer knowing my situation.

This is so messed up. It probably also fuels much of the discontent on the part of "Christians" with Father not "helping them in their times of need". Jesus who was capable of helping everyone with their immediate perceived needs did not always do so. In fact, if you create an equation of his ability to help vs his actual "assistance in a persons time of need" the result would be in negative numbers so big we could not imagine.

Jesus had a goal and purpose while he walked among us. A purpose he spoke to and demonstrated. A purpose which, if he truly is the example each of us who follow him is to emulate, should dictate our own way of life.

"You've heard me tell you, 'I'm going away, and I'm coming back.' If you loved me, you would be glad that I'm on my way to the Father because the Father is the goal and purpose of my life."John 14:28

His goal was not to do good things for the Kingdom or for the Father. He was not here to make our lives easier or to provide relief for those in difficulty. His goal and purpose WAS Father. Along the way, Father would show Jesus people in whom Father was already doing something and Jesus would know that Father would have him partake in Father's own work at some level. It was in those individual's lives where Jesus unleashed the power bottled up inside him. It was not Jesus operating from a "look at all the potential to help I have... now where can I do good things for Father?" It was where would Father have me when and what would He have me do while I am there. Nothing more. Nothing less.

"The Father is the goal and purpose of my life" dictates a great deal about the way we live our lives. It indicates a clear determination to only be doing that which we sense Father calling us to be involved in. It indicates a complete surrender to our creator to only be involved in doing what He indicates we are to be doing. It destroys the mentality that "Christians" are to always be doing everything in their power to solve other people's problems.

So, no, I won't go out of my way to help you like that other guy. Maybe his path has been guided by Father to be that person for you, but mine has not at this point in both our lives. Hence, choosing to be where Father wants me when He wants me to be there, and doing what He wants of me while there will not at this point prompt me to offer to be your wholesale savior of temporal things.

He chose wisely when given a choice of cups...

One of the privileges I have along my journey is walking alongside others at various stages in their own journeys. It allows me to reflect on this curious path Father seems to have me on and gives me the opportunity to conduct "fruit inspections" along the way. (checkups to verify if I am growing or stagnant in the journey)

Today, I read an interesting part of Galatians in my current singular focus reading of The Message:

The person who lives in right relationship with God does it by embracing what God arranges for him. Doing things for God is the opposite of entering into what God does for you. Habakkuk had it right: "The person who believes God, is set right by God—and that's the real life." 12 Rule-keeping does not naturally evolve into living by faith, but only perpetuates itself in more and more rule-keeping, a fact observed in Scripture: "The one who does these things [rule-keeping]continues to live by them." —Galatians 3:11b-12

Over the years I've seen so many people "living for God" in their weekly routines of going to church and striving to find other things they can do that will be blessed by God. Career, parenting, even giving... living for God means understanding some principles taught to them by some ecclesiastically endorsed person and then seeing how they can align their lives to apply those principles in order to find blessing or be blessed by God in their endeavors.

Doing things for God is the opposite of entering into what God does for you.

This is important along the journey! If we take a step back from the popular teaching of the day and re-read the stories of Jesus' time here walking among us, it's pretty clear to see that this was how He lived 24/7 for almost 1,000 days. In the history of the world no one has had the "gifted-ness" and understanding of principles to live by like Jesus. And yet, He chose to enter into what God was doing around Him rather than doing His own thing based on the resources and teaching at His disposal. We even see Him tempted in the Wilderness to live the way we tend to try to live the "Christian life"... getting what is destined to be ours, quicker, by submitting to serve another master. It's right... we know we are supposed to "have" all this so we should pursue it, right?! Jesus resisted the temptation to have it all right now even though that which He was offered was in line with what He knew He was ultimately destined to enter into along the path Father had for Him... and more immediately than Father's way for Him. Given the choice between two cups... the cup of endulgence (which was mostly truth mixed with a little -or huge- error) or the cup of surrender, entering into what Father was doing in and around Him.

What will you chose?

Obsessions

While traveling the other day I heard all sorts of people talking about all kinds of stuff that occupies their conscious thoughts. I don't remember the precise topic of the conversation that pulled it all together for me, but I do remember I was sitting on a plane overhearing the person behind me explaining how brilliant his business prowess was to the captive audience in his row. I pulled out my phone and wrote a reminder to myself of this simple thought:

Obsessed with controlling things you can't control.

It was a theme I overheard often in conversations on this trip - both conversations I had and had not participated in. In that one moment overhearing the conversation (which could hardly be called a conversation as it was very one sided, but nonetheless...) behind me on the plane Father spoke a quiet phrase that caused all the little subtle things He had been highlighting to me throughout the trip to come to rest on this one simple statement.

It's something we all struggle with at some level and in various ways. Father's been teaching me the lessons of manna from heaven and the feeding of the five thousand over the last year and I had not really put one plus one together to get this one yet (I know, one plus one equals two, but I'm learning this new math that doesn't always add up like all the math I grew up learning).

How amazing is it that we can become so obsessed, even as those who profess to follow Christ, with controlling things over which we truly have no control. Well, maybe some of you reading this may feel more comfortable if I tag on "no control except that which Father permits", but then is that really in our control at all?

Jesus walked the earth for three years totally out of control. (that should stir some head scratching) He was very careful to emphasize that:

John 5:19 (MSG)
19 So Jesus explained himself at length. "I'm telling you this straight. The Son can't independently do a thing, only what he sees the Father doing. What the Father does, the Son does.

John 5:30 (MSG)
30 "I can't do a solitary thing on my own: I listen, then I decide. You can trust my decision because I'm not out to get my own way but only to carry out orders.

John 5:36 (MSG)
36 But the witness that really confirms me far exceeds John's witness. It's the work the Father gave me to complete. These very tasks, as I go about completing them, confirm that the Father, in fact, sent me.

John 5:44 (MSG)
44 How do you expect to get anywhere with God when you spend all your time jockeying for position with each other, ranking your rivals and ignoring God?

And perhaps the most interesting snippet nestled in this explanation by Jesus is:

38 There is nothing left in your memory of his Message because you do not take his Messenger seriously.

39 "You have your heads in your Bibles constantly because you think you'll find eternal life there. But you miss the forest for the trees. These Scriptures are all about me!

A large majority of well meaning ministries across the world are geared to teaching "principles" from the Bible, that if you follow them precisely you will be in control of things in your life. I believe Jesus would say "poppycock!"

Out of the Game

I had an interesting experience this week along the journey. Actually, the intersection of several points along the journey this week which Father used as another point of helping me understand just how busy He is all around me (and on occasion my part in it).
I've been teaching at a community college for a couple of semesters. In my summer class I had a very interesting collection of people and since teaching there is part of my "as you are going" journey I am conscious to try to look at the students for what Father may be doing individually in each of their lives. One I've been particularly interested to watch has been in the life of a young lady I'll call Holly.
Rewind a little over a year. On Facebook I came across an old high school friend with whom I had lunch and we immediately realized he and I were on the same journey years and miles apart for the last 30 years. We've since been hanging out almost every week to talk about what Father is doing in our lives and spur each other on along the way. I'll call him Kevin.
Kevin has the unique opportunity of assisting a handful of young adults with their journeys in a nearby community. I've met the group and hung out with them several times. A great group of folks with varied backgrounds and stories. One of the young ladies in the group, like most of us, had lots of hurt and difficulty in her past with which, as most of us do, she had found ways to cope. In her case one of her ways to cope with the hurt involved being in deeper than friendship relationships with other women. I'll call her Mary here.
The other day at lunch with Kevin he began telling me a story about Mary and the young lady with whom she had broken off a relationship when she began to discover the grace of Jesus along her journey. I don't remember all the details, but suffice it to say that Mary's former girlfriend was angered by Mary's new direction and very resentful of Kevin, the group Mary had become a part of, and all that Father was doing in Mary's life. Kevin told me at lunch that day that in recent weeks Mary had seen a change in her former girlfriend's attitude about Mary's new direction. Even making the comment that Mary was happy all the time and asking what was it that made such a big change. Kevin, Mary, and their group have been praying for Mary's former girlfriend to see Jesus and experience the healing that Mary has found. I'm not 100% sure how the punchline in the story wound down, but it was something like "Father has been answering our prayers by allowing her to see Jesus every week for a couple of hours and none of us knew it. You see Craig, her name is Holly."
WHOA! It took it a couple of moments for it to sink in. Mary's Holly was the Holly from my class. The same Holly in whom I had seen an attitude change throughout the course. Holly and I had never really talked about religion, but I had just been myself with her and not been concerned with what Father was doing in areas of her life outside my reach. Always watching and often asking if it was my place to say something Father just said no... be yourself with Holly."
So, I was blown away with that. But equally cool was the realization that what had occurred in this set of relationships served two other purposes in my own life. One, it reinforces the teaching about things and people with which I consistently (whether back to back in time or over years of separation) come into contact not being by accident, but that as I am where I'm supposed to be, when I'm supposed to be there it only makes sense that I'd encounter these people and things again as we are each a part of what Father is doing in each other's lives. Second, for a couple of weeks, maybe even months I had been feeling a little like I was out of the game if you will. It was as if, because I had not been actively "doing" as I had been indoctrinated by religion I was not doing anything. Like I was on the bench if you will. Father showed me in that one brief moment and the intersection of several, up to that point, unconnected lives that when you are being where you are supposed to be, when you are supposed to be there, and doing/saying what you are supposed to be doing/saying when you are there that you are never out of the game. The game is not about me.

Checklist Christianity

The churchETHOS blog has a really good article about checklist christianity vs following Jesus.

“Checklist Christianity” is that form of religion that teaches, either directly or indirectly, that our spiritual growth, or even our worth as a Christian, is tied up in what we do. Specifically, the more bible studies you attend, the more extra-curricular “Christian” activities you are involved in, the more you read your bible and pray on your own, the more you are growing spiritually.

I'd add "Goes to church" to his list of items. Many folks won't even count the items he has listed until they know you are going to a certain church... and ultimately if you don't attend a church at all nothing you do on the checklist matters.

It's sad, and unfortunately probably has its roots sometime in the stuff we have recorded in Acts-Revelation, but somewhere along the lines walking with Jesus turned into going to a church rather than being part of the body of Christ. At some point by, no doubt, some well meaning religious individuals, the body of Christ was conceptually split up into "local" and "global" yet if you read all the gospel accounts very carefully you'll discover this never seemed to be on the mind of Christ. He always spoke of His body in the global sense.

What if following Jesus takes you away from attending church as we have always known it and introduces you to something very different... something I'm beginning to see may be more like what I believe Jesus had in mind as He walked among us. Something where He, not an organization, provides the relationships with other believers who will build you up and whom you in turn can build up in return.

Why must there be "Christian" this and "Christian" that?

I was just on Meetup.com responding to some messages and checking the schedule for the week to make sure the groups I was part of are on my schedule for the week, and looking to see what new groups might have bloomed over the last week. I've found Meetup.com is a great place to discover opportunities to get plugged as an "as you are going" Christ Follower.

This morning I see a Northern Colorado Christian Business Something Or Other... Can anyone tell me why business people need to have a "Christian" business organization? You have "church" to gather with others you consider likeminded. Why this cultic practice of subdividing yourselves from every opportunity for relationships where you could be useful to Father?

This is directly counter to how you see Jesus walking among us. Other than his group of the twelve he was consistently out among the people at their events and their gatherings. He neither practiced nor advocated a "Christian subculture" removed from the step and pace of everyday life.

Perhaps it's because we have confused being separate in how we live our lives among the rest of the world as Jesus did, in how we determine our priorities with just being separate completely. While those who follow Christ were dubbed "the called out ones" by Jesus, I don't believe we were called out to be closed away, closed minded, closed off, closed down -- a closed subculture.

Your church staff will be very frustrated with me on this one, but let me challenge you to go to Meetup.com, find a group that shares your hobby or work interests and plug int to see how Father can use you in a group outside the walls of the subculture you've been hiding in without realizing it.

They call it a home show...

... and we were there last night.

[caption id="attachment_115" align="aligncenter" width="571" caption="A friend of a friends living room in Boulder"][/caption]

Ben and Robin Pasley grew up in a denominational church setting like me. They did the music circuit for a while, then the church scene, and feeling a draw to deeper family and discipleship began what is now Enter the Worship Circle to mentor young musicians and disciple them.

A friend of mine in Boulder fellowships with a group of college age folks and invited them to come hang out Saturday night and play and sing some songs. It was very organic except for the chairs, which my friend said he set up to help us former denominational types feel more at home.

I'm not sure if it's truly longing for that experience I once knew as worship or the deep seeded messaging all my life that I should be in church every week and memories of the times it was enjoyable to be in that type community.

Through the experience I found myself talking with Father about what worship is out here where He has us now. Part of the answer He gave me right away... I worship as I walk each day with Him. I found myself wrestling with Him about the music, and the friends, and the... He said something simple like "I'm not enough? The people I bring your way each day are not enough?" I said okay and asked Him to help me be happiest in Him alone.

We are beginning our third year walking in faith apart from organized religion. It has been a complete time of life transition for us as all of our adult lives were intertwined as family and occupation in organized church stuff. No doubt it will take time before almost 25 years of addiction and 45 years of indoctrination is purged from our system. Last night was another step in that process. One simple step at a time.

Leaving vs Pursuing

Reading the reminder article posted by Jeff McQ at Losing My Religion: Re-Thinking Church today prompted me to understand something more clearly. Many folks want to know (whether it's the few how actually ask or the apparent many who ask others) what led the Kendall's to leave the church or more commonly "what happened"?

There IS a lot of discussion and exploration about alternative forms of gathering as the body of Christ these days. I'm afraid to say that in many instances some of what's driving folks to explore alternatives is the same thing that has fueled church hopping for decades. Someone get's their feelings hurt and shazaam, it's time to look for another church. It's often couched in all kinds of other surface reasons... we're just not being fed, or folks just never really reached out to us, or something similar. So there appears to be one group who are exploring alternative "church" types due to dissatisfaction with the "church" they were part of before.

Our experience has been very different. We love the friends and "stuff" that was going on at our "church". It was a great place with tons of amazing people and lots of cool events and programs. For us, following Jesus required us to leave the walls of what we had always known as "church" because we could no longer follow Him and stay there. Stuff He showed us about walking with Him and His Way made what we saw going on there in His name a stench to our nose. No one mistreated us. No one was ugly to us. No one chose the wrong color of carpet. We just could no longer stomach what was being done there as really about the Kingdom as much as about a kingdom. Not as much about persons as people. Reversals of parables and stories were showing up all over. The one was left for the 99. The mite was no longer mightier than the millions. The treasure was left covered up in the field so the previous pursuits of so much potential could be pursued. We could no longer stay where we were and pursue Christ because following Him was taking us outside the traditions and established ways of doing "church". Some would say we became disgruntled on some level, but having been in church work for decades this was no disgruntled church member leaving because his or her feelings were hurt. This was, "I'm not so sure 'church' is supposed to be what we've made it" and in order to follow Christ into exploring what He meant we had to remove ourselves from the addicting influence of the show.

The interesting thing is He has not allowed us to pursue another way of doing "church" but instead only Him. Because we are in Colorado, there is every a-typical opportunity for church around us. While we treasure every opportunity we have to gather with other Christ Followers, He has not taken us to a house church, a missional gathering, or any other form of a programmed event where people get together to be a "church". Don't get me wrong. We do purposefully seek out opportunities to be together with other Christ Followers. Dinners at the house seem to be the most common type, but any occasion to hang out with other Christ Followers is at the top of our list of stuff to do.

So, how about you? What led you to that new "church"... Christ or frustration?

Several have asked...

Several have asked and others want to know but don't ask. I'll answer anyway. The question is something like, "Why don't you go to church anymore?" While I won't spend time rehashing the journey that brought me to where I am (read the rest of the MyWalkBlog entries if you are interested in that), I'll instead answer the question for those who will to some degree admit they at least partially agree that "church" as we have always known it does not accomplish the mission that Christ left with His followers, but who would challenge that I should be "inside" applying what God has shown me as a fix for the "church". Today I was catching up on some blog reading and came across the following section of a post titled Is Deconstruction Enough? Wayne, being challenged whether he really wanted to be known as one of the guys who convinced people not to go to church on Sunday morning says as part of his response:

The reason church life grows stale is because we’re looking for institutional solutions, not relational ones. If we equip people to live loved of God and live as lovers of people, the church will spring up all around us. It probably won’t be contained in a specific meeting or building but will grow wild and free and bear fruit in the interconnection, collaboration, cooperation and submission of brothers and sisters who are being changed by Jesus. That can look like a hundred different things. But once I begin to describe some of those things, I know our tendency as humans to prefer replicating a model to following the Head! We love to construct things, not build up people. The New Testament points us to building up people in Christ and seeing what expression that takes. I don’t think it works the other way around. (emphasis mine)

And there you have in a nutshell my answer. I remember several years ago, when following God on my journey brought about some interesting developments in our own group. The church we were attending immediately wanted to find a way to replicate what was going on in our group through months of praying and following by putting together a handbook, having a training session, and watching the Spirit of God take that group exactly where we were headed because we were following God.

One of the key questions I remember the church leader asking after I told him our off-shoot groups followed no curriculum was "but how do we control what goes on in the groups." My response? "If you think you control the groups that meet on campus because they all meet at the same time each week and because you put approved curriculum in the leaders hands your nuts." Do you see it... "But once I begin to describe some of those things, our tendency as humans is to prefer replicating a model to following the Head!"

Other than the simple fact that Jesus, the Head, has not led me back to an institutionalized gathering, I'm confident that any attempt to change the institution, as others have suggested, from the inside out though it would be the result of a small group learning how to walk in intimacy with God, would be subjected to tendencies and efforts to replicate the model and not the following of the Head that truly brought about the change. Besides, ultimately, those who have "gotten it" begin to struggle with being inside the institution themselves and we all know how that "movement" would sit with those who lead the institutions.

Pursuing Christ Outside the Walls!

Counter Assumption

In his article, The Cult of Mac: Neuroscience shows Apple's impact on the brain is the same as religion, the author Skye Jethani cites research and opinion based on that research toward addressing what he sees as consumerism affecting the church.

"Apple is (as we've proven using neuroscience)...a religion. Not only that--it is a religion based on its communities. Without its core communities, Apple would die--it is already facing strong pressure as the brand simply is becoming too broad (losing) its magic. What's holding it all together is the hundreds if not thousands of communities across the world spreading the passion and creating the myths."

I was glad to see he came back and explored the opposite side of things... as he puts it "If brands have become religions, is the opposite also true? Have religions been reduced to brands?" Skye affirms that he does believe this to be true. I have to admit I was already thinking in this direction as I began his article (but then, that doesn't surprise those of you who know me, right?).

Could it be the same thing that makes humans in general vulnerable to consumerism in the first place is the same thing that contributed to the rise of a religion out of the relationship focus Jesus lived and taught while He walked the earth?

What's really intriguing about this study, and about Apple being dubbed "a religion", is more what it says about religion than it is an indictment on Apple or any other strong brand, right? Does the study show that people are generally pre-disposed to a system of belief about something? And, if so, could it suggest that when Jesus left the disciples without a religion per se, that in the absence of one, the people who by nature are predisposed to systemization rather than relationship, unknowingly began to layer the system, or religion, back onto that which Jesus spent three years striping away?

Attending Meetings Does Not Equal Church

So today I came across several interesting blogs. One of which led me to lifestream.org - I continue to be amazed how prevalent this movement of God is. In fact, I remember around Feb or Mar of 2007 thinking I was the only one out here struggling with whether what I had come to know as "church" was really what Jesus meant for His followers to be doing. One of the watershed moments in the journey was looking around the room at a group of folks whom I had led in Bible study for several years after making the comment "You have to take personal responsibility for your own spiritual growth. Not your spouse, not me, not the pastor, or the church. But you reaching out to walk with Jesus day by day, moment by moment." What I noticed would best be described as the deer in headlights look from all but three faces. It was then I realized God was calling me to invest deeply in the three who understood. So, reading the lifestream.org blog/site today I found this comment:

Don't be tricked into thinking that just because you attend its meetings you are experiencing real body life. That only comes as God connects you with a handful of brothers and sisters with whom you can build close friendships and share the real ups and downs of this journey.

From Why I Don't Go to Church Anymore! by Wayne Jacobsen

There you go! Reflecting back after my own watershed moment, I remember the numerous times I or someone else would speak of walking in the Spirit and sensing the leadership of the Spirit to do, say, or whatever, and seeing those same looks. The funny thing was the family-ship that the group had. Probably the most unified group I've ever been a part of. Yet, the experience of being in touch with God through the Spirit mostly absent. I believe a vast majority of those "attending church" today, even those who experience a great "fellowship" of friends and having incredibly moving spiritual moments, are not experiencing a genuine, Spirit-led walk. In fact, the pastor of the church (deemed a highly successful and exploding church by all standards of ministry in today's mainstream understanding) we were attending at that point even said in the same message which prompted my comment about personal responsibility for one's own spiritual walk that he stayed awake at nights lamenting that over 90% of the folks who sat listening to him each week would spend eternity in hell.

Schizophrenia Not Allowed

One of the interesting realizations along my journey has been how schizophrenic the traditional views of God, His Word, and His Ways tends to become.One is the way we tend to look at the Old Testament and the New Testament in different ways. While there are more ways we look at the front and back of the Bible with differing views, this only deals with one particular aspect of our perception.

It occured to me that we tend to look at the Old Testament as stories holding truth about what we should and should not do as God's people, but we tend to look at the New Testament as primarily a record of what we should do. It's like we turn the magic page between old and new and the very nature of the complete story changes.

I remember one of the major themes of the Old Testament is the fickleness of the God's people. Story after story after story details how the people of God ride the roller coaster of loving God and following Him and then ignoring God and going their own way; or worse yet intermixing the ways of God with the ways of the God-less.

Wouldn't it make sense that this theme played out throughout the entire record of God's redeeming work? Or did that propensity for man going his own way magically disappear between Malachi and Matthew? I'm beginning to realize that the theme indeed continues as we see the closest followers of Jesus, after the resurrection, return to fishing where Jesus finds them and puts them back on the right path (sound like an Old Testament theme to you?). Then there's the page turn between John and Acts. The very first act in the "church age" was for the closest followers of Jesus to create the first nominating committee and "throw the dice" to determine who should replace Judas among the twelve. (I personally believe this was taking matters into their own hands as we later see God replace Judas with Paul; His work, His time, His way vs our work for Him, our way, our timing)

Where did the disciples see this method of determining the will of God? Do we have record of them sitting under a tree or beside a road with Jesus during the three years they were with him so they would know where to go and what to do? Some have challenged my interpretation by pointing out that Jesus was filled with the Spirit and was able to hear the voice of His Father that way, while the disciples at this point had not received the gift of the Spirit so they had to use another method. Again, I don't see Jesus instructing them to do that or showing them how in the record we have of His time with them.

I would cite more examples, but that would incite a riot here and I'm not after that. What I'm trying to do from this point forward is test everything I see in the New Testament (as well as the Old) against what I see Jesus doing and what I hear Jesus saying in the record of His time here among us. If there's a difference between what Jesus said and did, it leaves room for considering if that was something we've added to what Jesus and His Father intended.

So, to me, this thread of the fickleness of God's people continues throughout the story. So where are the turns back to the old ways? What events in Matthew-Revelation are the record of God's people returning to old ways instead of following the new way Jesus showed and left them? What pieces of an old way of life do we live out today because "it's in the New Testament" even though it's in there to show that even after Christ's sacrifice for us was fulfilled we still battle with the draw to our old ways of unbelief? At least I'm watching for those now as I read the New Testament too.

Unity in the Spirit

I had an unusual experience this week and it brought me to a greater appreciation for the concept of unity in the Spirit. When I look around and see all the disunity in what's supposed to be the communities of believers I see some managed unity, but nothing like this experience this week.

A God-appointment orchestrated via Facebook brought me back across a former high school mate, Steve Villanueva. While we each knew of each other during our high school years and that we both were involved in church, that was pretty much it as far as being friends.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="260" caption="We Have Been Lied To"][/caption]

We met at a local Macaroni Grill for about two hours. The first 10 minutes was about the formalities... where and what since high school. Then Steve told me he had a book that was published and was being released this month (We Have Been Lied To by Stephen Villanueva which is available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Target now, and Borders later this month). WOW! How cool is that.

As we continued to talk throughout lunch I was overwhelmed with how two guys, vaguely acquainted for four years over two decades ago could come together after barely knowing each other so long ago and having zero contact since could be so on the same page. I listened intently as he laid out the things God had been teaching and showing him. Recalling the same stories from Scripture with the revolutionary understanding which God had given me over the last couple of years. It was as if we had been hanging around with each other and heard the stories time after time so we were able to speak as one.

Then it hit me. I had always talked about the unity that should exist for believers because the same Spirit was alive in both, but never had I experienced it quite like this. I had even joked that the Spirit was not schizophrenic so when there was disunity one or the other was not led by the Spirit. Story for story, words lining up with words, experiences akin to the others. It was truly amazing.

Then I began to reflect on the work God had done to inspire the writing of the Bible into the amazing book of unity it is today and was further in awe of the moment.

If you are walking in the Spirit, then the Spirit in you should be in full agreement with the Spirit alive in another Christ Follower. Have you experienced a relationship/conversation like this? If not, wonder which Christ Follower is the one not consistently walking in and being led by the Spirit?

There IS truth to be learned from Star Wars (and beyond!)

... watching the final installment in our Star Wars epic watch-a-thon (several evenings through episode 1-6) a thought occurred to me...

(haha, check out this article I found looking for the picture to the right...)

Thinking of our brother Aaron Horton's now famous (with me anyway) quote:

No matter who you are, where you’re from, or what perspective you have in life, all of us can recognize a common theme emerging in the world. We see it in the stories we love, we see it in history, we see it in our own lives. There is beauty and innocence, interrupted by tragedy and sadness, followed by longing for rescue, and hope for a better day. We love the stories best where a hero comes along to set the world right and bring a new day to pass where we return to that place of beauty and innocence again…changed of course…but back home again. That story is older than the middle ages, the roman empire, or even the Bible. It is the story written on the very heart of God…woven into our lives because we were made in His image.

... I began to realize that if I believe what Paul talks about in Romans and understand that we were all created in the image of our father originally, only we've lost touch with it through our sinfulness...

... it becomes apparent that there WILL be hints of the character of God in all the stories even the fallen man tells. In the things we (mankind) hold to as ideals; love, peace, hope, etc., and the things we loathe; hate, lust, jealousy, even from a worldly perspective; we can see and point to God. Because God's image is "in our DNA" the hints of that image will be present in the work done by the creator's creation. WHOA!

That's why so many of the amazing quotes in movie after movie, book after book, song after song, etc. after etc. can point to the essence of real truth! Sometimes even more honest about it than we tend to be in our own religious lives:

Anakin Skywalker
"Mom, you said that the biggest problem in the universe is no one helps each other."

Qui-Gon Jinn
"Your focus determines your reality."

Anakin Skywalker
"Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden."

Qui-Gon Jinn
"Remember, concentrate on the moment. Feel... don't think. Use your instincts."

Luke
"Jedi Masters don't go crazy -- they just get eccentric."

... just a few... many more there are! (sorry, could not resist)

I think the depth of Aaron's insight sunk in to a whole new level last night! All those stories which portray pieces of kingdom truth just askew from our naturalized man point of view.... hints of truth from the wrong foundation/perspective... Wow!

Press on!

Involved in church's ministry = serving God?

Okay, so this just illustrates the point. It amazes me how easily we accept this rhetoric. At the big Shift event going on this week Kara Powell, the executive director of the Center for Youth and Family Ministry at Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, California, had the following to say:

If there is one thing that everyone in youth ministry seems to be talking about it’s how to keep students following Christ after high school....

Her data reveals that 50% of high school students who had been deeply involved in a church’s youth ministry will not be serving God 18 months after graduation. And that’s not counting the many other high school students who are only going to church because their parents are forcing them.

She said this standing in front of a mountain of "youth resources" making the point that there are more resources available than ever before and yet students are walking away from God after High School. Then, she poses four critical questions for youth ministry. I'll only highlight one here:

4. How can we train students to feed themselves after graduation?

Doesn't that establish a bit of an oxymoron? On the one hand she laments that teens in alarming rates are not coming to church, then out of the other side of her mouth she prods how those same teens can be trained to feed themselves. If they are feeding themselves and out amongst the unbelievers but fellowshipping intentionally with believers in some manner isn't that awesome!? That is, unless someone has embraced the myth that dragging oneself to the table is synonymous with feeding oneself.

So, here are some questions that come to mind:

1. If the churchites can keep them there, does it really mean they are growing and serving Christ?


2. When exactly was it that attendance replaced personal contact (discipler to disciplee) to determine growth?


3. Isn't it kind of presumptuous to assume that someone participating in a program is engaged personally?


4. If the youth ministries we rabidly defend are doing their jobs maybe the teens are just the first new generation of self-sustaining Christ Followers going out into the world to fulfill the Great Commission. Maybe they get it that the Great Commission cannot be fulfilled hiding away, in-breeding in our super-structures.

Okay, like that was not jarring enough, this will be really unpopular. While it may not be at the forefront of the thinking of these "ministry professionals" I do believe an underlying concern they have is the realization of the lost revenue after the business has spent so many resources to raise up future foundational support. They know if they cannot keep them they cannot sustain the super-structures they built on "new believers" alone. How can I say such a thing? I just reflect on my own meetings applying formulas which divided the total giving (revenue) by the number in attendance to arrive at a per person figure which can be applied to the increase in attendance to get a increase in available funds to "grow the ministry".

Skye Jethani, the author of the article and managing editor of Leadership poses his own questions as he closes out the article:

48 year olds may not be leaving the church the way 18 year olds are, but are they really growing? Are we feeding them a Red Bull gospel? Are we teaching them to be self-feeders?

What is needed is a complete re-evaluation of what serving God truly means; a re-evaluation of what personal growth is; a re-evaluation of what the Church is. One of the most common concerns I've heard among staff members about believers or groups of believers feeding themselves is the issue of "control". Control only becomes an issue when the numbers become so big that personal involvement can no longer be maintained. This is when rules and structure become necessary. It amazes me that in statements like the ones in this articlt the writers look right past the obvious laying in front of them... isn't teaching church-goers to be self-feeders and expecting them to be dependent on the super-structure for food (I know, this is not what we say going to church is about, but really it's part of how the necessity of the institution is protected) a great oxymoron?

Where, O where is the outrage at statements such as this? (truth is, folks will be more outraged that I've said what I've said than they will that these speakers and writers have equalized serving God with going to church activites)

Bursting the Christian Bubble -- The Cart Running Over the Horse

It appears that Dan Kimball, author of They Like Jesus But Not the Church, speaking live at the Shift conference shared some thoughts on "Bursting the Christian Bubble".

In an increasingly post-Christian culture fewer people have contact with real Christians. We’ve hidden ourselves in a Christian sub-culture bubble.

I would totally agree with the sub-culture bubble concept. We emerged from that bubble last February and ever since folks think we have backslidden (one of those sub-culture terms used to help protect the organization and keep people inside) and "lost our faith". In fact, just the opposite has happened since we purposefully stepped away from that social bubble which demanded way too much time for us to be out impacting the lives of those outside the bubble. In fact, a friend with whom we've become reacquainted with since returning to the Denver area, tells us about the stealth inquisitions she often undergoes from those in the church we formerly served on staff at while here. Yet not one of them has picked up the phone and called us to ask what's going on. Wonder if that means life outside the bubble is way weird to those inside.

In one of my first mywalkblog posts was The New 80/20, I reflected that "my time was so tied up in good things at church and in ministry [that] I spent little time engaging with people outside my church in the community or my even my own neighborhood."

Inevitably the cart gets before the horse and before too long the cart actually begins running the horse over and killing it. Of all the things I reflect back on of value during my years serving the organization it's the relationships with precious people that I am most fond of today. Those don't require the institution itself to exist. In fact, those relationship often thrived and were most founded from any time we spent apart from the bubble.

Now almost two years later I'm going to propose something that will be very unpopular to those inside their bubbles... I don't believe it's possible to have the organized institution which is called church without that bubble inevitably becoming a dominating reality. I'll concede that in some smaller communities in secluded areas where the "churches" themselves are small, I believe the bubble-syndrome is less likely to be as crippling to true Christ Followers. But that's where it stops. Even as those institutions increase in size it will require more resources to keep them going and ultimately there won't be enough time to serve Christ and their church any longer. (ouch... I can't believe I just said that) The very nature of the organizations we've created and called "church" (given, Christ established His Church as the global body of all who profess a faith in Him but I'm less inclined to say the establishments find ourselves slaves to today and call church are what He had in mind at all) will inevitably turn inward in focus and create a sub-culture of isolationism because of what they strive to be. Maybe that's why the disciples were scolded when they asked Jesus about having a position in His future organization.