Operation De-tox - 365 days and counting

A year ago today was the day Julie and I began a process a writer calls de-toxing. Little did we realize how much in our life would be changing in that year. Little did we realize how much that would begin to realize how much more needed to change.

Since moving back to Colorado I had the opportunity to hang out with a guy named John White, US Coordinator for DAWN ministries. John's background is similar to my own in that he has religious oriented education and served for a number of years as a church staff member before his journey led him outside the walls of an established organizational structure and into this wild world where we now find ourselves. On my first occasion to hang out with John we both told our stories. It was very interesting when John indicated his own de-toxing experience has lasted for almost two decades so far. And here I was thinking we were "almost there."

So, here's some observations after a year of our own experience (side note... don't misread any one observation as a standalone... they all must be considered in light of and interdependent upon the others...):

1. We are spiritually richer and deeper. I'm guessing due to the fact that we MUST feed ourselves and can't depend on spoon feeding that comes as "going with the flow" of the busy life inside the walls.


2. We have missed the social comfort provided by the established organizational approach.


3. More people matter. Having made a move during the first year of our de-tox experience it has become obvious to us how much we depended on the established organization to find and maintain friendships. After nearly five months of standing on our front porch longing for God's prompting to engage one of our neighbors I was delighted to finally have an extended conversation with someone on our street this last week. It was exhilarating! I never longed for relationships with those around me or those I'd encountered until my social crutch was removed. Maybe this phenomenon of having comfortable friendships was unique to Julie and I, but nonetheless we are so much more observant as to who God has placed us around and opportunities to engage them in conversation.


4. Less seems to promote more. (Now before I go any further with this one and lest some say it wouldn't be the same for everyone, I have to say I agree. I've watched numerous folks "walk away from church" because they had a bad experience or found other things to entertain themselves.) I can't tell you the number of times during 22 years of "serving the church" either as a staff member, or a denominational employee and lay leader I heard the phrase "we need deeper Bible study." I won't say we've spent more time in "personal study" in the last year, but I can tell you we've spent more "as you are going" time learning and looking. Here's the biggee in this one... more impact on how we think and how we live. Almost like our spiritual lives were on auto-pilot before and we were free to be distracted by all the other stuff going on around us. Now we find we wrestle more often and more instantaneously, without requiring a sermon or song to prompt us with things like forgiveness, faith, hope, grace, and more.


5. Relationships are still vital and valuable. I have a whole new understanding of the phrase "forsake not the assembling of yourselves together." This past year I realized I have always interpreted this statement in the context of what I have always known rather than interpreting what I've always known in the context of that statement.


6. People think we've gone off the deep end. It's interesting to hear some of the "theories" circulating out there about why the Kendall's have "turned their backs on God." (I guess that's another thing that's been great about this experience... we truly are outside the rumor mill - even though we still hear some of the funny hypotheses.)


7. We struggle more. This is not the "ah ha" some of our skeptical friends are hoping for related to our journey. And it goes hand in hand with the next observation.


8. Greater sensitivity to God's prompting. Now if we can just be quicker and deeper in obedience. Hence the reason we struggle more.


9. Seeing more people more like it appears Jesus and God see them. It's interesting on this side of things how much time and energy is spent trying to get the unchurched into church and then how much worry really exists about how much they might mess things up in there. So, lots of time is invested trying to turn those on the outside, who may come in, into little us-es. And often it's not the non-negotiable principles of The Way which we have to change. It's the social aspects that make us uncomfortable.


10. Control. I still remember a conversation I had with a staff member about some amazing things that were happening outside the walls and how quickly, though there was a desire to mass produce what took months/years to slowly germinate, the issue of control entered into it. Since then I've been consistently amazed how much "control" is a key issue. And the truly humorous thing about it is how little control there truly is within the structure. Only the sense of control exists.


11. We are not alone out here. Others precede us. Others are joining us out here. Some were never "in" but are out here ahead of us.


12. I still need more de-toxing. I keep referring to "us" and "we".

So, as we enter our second year of de-toxing today I'm more committed than ever to figure out what it means that the Kingdom of Heaven/God is here... now! After about 22 years of focusing on Jesus as "the truth" I want to see why early followers called themselves "The Way." I want to learn to become more immediately sensitive to seeing God and His work all around me. I want to see more clearly and learn how to communicate the simple truth that God's testimony to Himself exists in everything alive around us. And, I want to do my best to be so on His agenda that all these ideas can change or turn on a dime so I can follow Him wherever and whenever.