They call it a home show...

... and we were there last night.

[caption id="attachment_115" align="aligncenter" width="571" caption="A friend of a friends living room in Boulder"][/caption]

Ben and Robin Pasley grew up in a denominational church setting like me. They did the music circuit for a while, then the church scene, and feeling a draw to deeper family and discipleship began what is now Enter the Worship Circle to mentor young musicians and disciple them.

A friend of mine in Boulder fellowships with a group of college age folks and invited them to come hang out Saturday night and play and sing some songs. It was very organic except for the chairs, which my friend said he set up to help us former denominational types feel more at home.

I'm not sure if it's truly longing for that experience I once knew as worship or the deep seeded messaging all my life that I should be in church every week and memories of the times it was enjoyable to be in that type community.

Through the experience I found myself talking with Father about what worship is out here where He has us now. Part of the answer He gave me right away... I worship as I walk each day with Him. I found myself wrestling with Him about the music, and the friends, and the... He said something simple like "I'm not enough? The people I bring your way each day are not enough?" I said okay and asked Him to help me be happiest in Him alone.

We are beginning our third year walking in faith apart from organized religion. It has been a complete time of life transition for us as all of our adult lives were intertwined as family and occupation in organized church stuff. No doubt it will take time before almost 25 years of addiction and 45 years of indoctrination is purged from our system. Last night was another step in that process. One simple step at a time.

Attending Meetings Does Not Equal Church

So today I came across several interesting blogs. One of which led me to lifestream.org - I continue to be amazed how prevalent this movement of God is. In fact, I remember around Feb or Mar of 2007 thinking I was the only one out here struggling with whether what I had come to know as "church" was really what Jesus meant for His followers to be doing. One of the watershed moments in the journey was looking around the room at a group of folks whom I had led in Bible study for several years after making the comment "You have to take personal responsibility for your own spiritual growth. Not your spouse, not me, not the pastor, or the church. But you reaching out to walk with Jesus day by day, moment by moment." What I noticed would best be described as the deer in headlights look from all but three faces. It was then I realized God was calling me to invest deeply in the three who understood. So, reading the lifestream.org blog/site today I found this comment:

Don't be tricked into thinking that just because you attend its meetings you are experiencing real body life. That only comes as God connects you with a handful of brothers and sisters with whom you can build close friendships and share the real ups and downs of this journey.

From Why I Don't Go to Church Anymore! by Wayne Jacobsen

There you go! Reflecting back after my own watershed moment, I remember the numerous times I or someone else would speak of walking in the Spirit and sensing the leadership of the Spirit to do, say, or whatever, and seeing those same looks. The funny thing was the family-ship that the group had. Probably the most unified group I've ever been a part of. Yet, the experience of being in touch with God through the Spirit mostly absent. I believe a vast majority of those "attending church" today, even those who experience a great "fellowship" of friends and having incredibly moving spiritual moments, are not experiencing a genuine, Spirit-led walk. In fact, the pastor of the church (deemed a highly successful and exploding church by all standards of ministry in today's mainstream understanding) we were attending at that point even said in the same message which prompted my comment about personal responsibility for one's own spiritual walk that he stayed awake at nights lamenting that over 90% of the folks who sat listening to him each week would spend eternity in hell.